Life
gets easier and you live with less resentment when you can speak up for
yourself
in an assertive and professional way – both at work and at
home. Saying the
right thing, in the right place, at the right time, and in the right
way is an
indispensable career skill.
Between
the style extremes of passive and aggressive is an effective, winning
approach-
the assertive style.
Assertive
communication doesn’t mean overbearing, pushy, or autocratic;
it’s a
balanced approach that assures you’ll handle people, get
things done, and
communicate- all in the same level-headed, confident manner.
Learn how to:
Understand the common beliefs that
often cause us either
misunderstanding or hesitance in exhibiting assertiveness.
Assess common passive and
aggressive traits and discover
if any of these interfere with your effectiveness.
Incorporate quick
“pattern interrupt” techniques into your life to
cool yourself down when you feel yourself starting to "lose it."
Appreciate the role that
self-esteem plays in assertiveness. If you do not believe that
you have any rights to assert, then assertiveness training
will not help you.
Realize that respect for others
begins with respect for yourself.
Hear and interpret the total
message- not just the words, but subtle messages of tone, inflection,
and body language.
Recognize the important role that
the 3 elements of communication- fact’s feelings, and
judgments- play in conversation.
Start potentially uncomfortable
conversations in the “third” person, which
greatly reduces defensiveness. Techniques to help 2 people to
agree on the same detached, description of the problem.
Realize the importance of
“I” statements and focusing on behavior, not the
person.
Understand that feelings must be
acknowledged before problem solving.
The steps are:
1/ share
2/ acknowledge
3/ problem solving
Accept compliments without
minimizing their impact.
Say no to people without seeming
disagreeable or unprofessional.
How to use the
“fogging” and “broken record’
techniques in effectively in assertive communication.
Practice applying skills through role-
playing with common assertive communication scenarios.
