Change the Subject!

My late grandmother, known as Nana, was a master at changing the subject. She lived in 96 and was a chain smoker. She would do this whenever we’d bring up something she didn’t want to get into, as in, “When are you going to stop smoking?” She’d simply (and apologetically) reply with, “How about those Red Sox, did they win last night?” Such a treasure.

She was also onto something. We forget that we have a constant internal dialogue going on. A conversation that we direct. Too many of us aren’t mindful enough and allow our thoughts to torment us.

If we catch it quickly before it starts to bring up emotion, we can easily change the subject to something more positive. An easy way to do that is to ask yourself, “what do I want regarding this, or how would I like it to go?”

Here’s my mantra that has made my life a lot easier: I have a lot of thoughts. This is normal. It’s part of being human. Some of my thoughts are helpful, and many of them are repetitive and negative. This is also normal and expected. Just because I had the thought doesn’t mean it’s accurate or true. They are mostly speculation.

I don’t try to control my thoughts. That’s unrealistic and exhausting. Instead, what I do is refuse to let them control me. I just choose which thoughts I want to entertain and give my energy and attention to. I use my mind to keep my nervous Nellie, sky- is-falling brain in check. I don’t let my brain be the master. The thoughts will come and go. I am not my thoughts. My thoughts are not me. I didn’t create them, my brain did. Because that’s what the brain does. But I’m the master of my brain!